He's found!

After yesterday, I think I still believe in miracles. I wrote yesterday about our poor little girl's stuffy being lost. Well yesterday, hubby went back to Walmart for an oil change, and checked each aisle of the store for Toutou Lapin while he waited. And low and behold, down this aisle he hadn't even been down the day before, sat Toutou Lapin, partially hidden. Hubby sent a picture of the bunny through our cell phones, and our three year old freaked out with joy. So, all's well that ends well, and thanks to everyone, through here or Facebook, who showed their support.

In all this, my three year old has learned an important lesson about losing things. She called my mother after the rabbit was found, and my mom asked her if in the future, Toutou Lapin would stay in the car. She said, "No, from now on he stays at home!" Poor kid.

Otherwise things were good yesterday for the most part. The kids have been so well behaved this holiday season. I got all their toys organized in their rooms, so there are only a handful left downstairs, and I'm hoping to get through those today. Plus, the house is relatively clean since we had a couple friends over for dessert the night before last. What a great feeling! I unfortunately haven't had much time for knitting, but that's ok - I managed to pull out the new guitar Santa brought me, and I can now play D, A and E. Or at least I could yesterday afternoon. I'll need a refresher today.

I also started teaching my three year old, who also got a guitar, the basics of how a guitar works. Her fingers will be just barely big enough, but right now, we're just working on the concept of pushing down one chord at different frets and making different sounds, so she has lots of time to grow into it!

So my only new challenge for now until I go back to work is to continue to clean and organize stuff. I want to finish in the family room, then get completely caught up with laundry. I think I have about 8 loads to wash, and by the end, I'll have about twice that many loads to put away. So I have my work cut out for me in the next 36 hours!

There really still is dial-up in this world

I'm back from a short week at my in-laws. We left early Christmas morning, and pulled up into their laneway, 8 hours later, just as they were arriving from their revelries at my sister-in-law's house. And they had no clue we were coming.

We arrived with the back of the car full of gifts (the kids thought Santa had dropped their loot off at Grandma and Grandpa's); Christmas dinner (a ham, potatoes, breads, veggies, you name it!); plus all the stuff you need to travel with two young children for 4 days. Thank goodness we'd had the last minute common sense to board the dog. He would have sat on my lap, otherwise - all 70 lbs of him.

Anyway, after they got over the deer in the headlights look, I think my in-laws loved the surprise. Because of a little family disagreement, they hadn't seen the kids in over a year and a half - more than half of our youngest's lifetime! Hubby and I thought it was time we extended an olive branch, and I'm glad his parents noticed the gesture. Everyone was on their best behaviour. And while my father-in-law, in particular, hadn't been overly impressed by our two tiny toddlers last time, he was smitten this time - he even sat on the floor and dressed Polly Pockets for a few hours!

The trip was also smoother than most, with a few exceptions on the drive home. My three year old, who is typically a great car traveller, became the toddler from hell somewhere between Peterborough (where we met up with friends) and Perth. I was this close to digging out the gravol and doling out a generous dose to her. And yes, I lost my temper there a few times. But I tell you, I think anyone would have!

One thing hubby and I did well is that we apparently didn't spoil the kids too much. My in-laws did, though. Man, it seems like people in Southwestern Ontario buy WAY more stuff for their kids than we do. Everyone gave us gifts. Their grandparents, aunt and uncle. Friends of my in-laws. Cousins of my husband's. Friends of his. And people didn't just give one thing. Some people gave each kid 4 or 5 things! Yikes! Anyway, now they're spoiled. And I'll be doing some major toy cleaning and sending stuff to charity. I want to see if the Children's Hospital would take toys. When we were there last month for my three year old, the playrooms looked a little barren.

Oh, and on a sidenote: tragedy struck my three year old for the first time yesterday. See, last month, just before she had surgery, she got really sick and ended up at the clinic, where the doctor, who was out of stickers, gave her a stuffy instead. It was a well-played with white rabbit, with pink overalls that my daughter called "Toutou lapin". And she instantly fell in love with it. She took it everywhere, made sure he was warm at night, that he could see the TV when they watched it together... you get it. So naturally yesterday she took it shopping with hubby... and when she walked out of Loblaws, she realized she didn't have it anywhere. She and hubby retraced their steps through the grocery store and Loblaws, but no Toutou Lapin. Now all we can do is hope that some generous soul found him and returns him to the customer service at one of those stores. In the meantime, I have a very sad little girl.

It's like clockwork

Every year, at some point during the holidays, I get a stomach bug. Some years I've been hit so hard I ended up hooked up to an IV in the ER. Other years I had to skip Christmas dinner because I couldn't handle any food.

So I guess I should count myself lucky that this year I didn't end up in either of those situations. But I've just spent the last 24 hours in the bathroom, and though I guess I'm over the worst of it, I still can't handle food. And Christmas is in a day and a bit. Few gifts are wrapped. And we're heading out to my in-laws Christmas morning, and the kids' stuff isn't packed. Oh, and the house would probably have looked better if a hurricane had just zipped through.

My parents have been helping out like they can while I was sick. But at the end of the day, they have stuff to get ready for the holidays, too. So I'm paying a fortune to hire the teenage girl next door to watch the kids for the rest of the day while hubby and I clean, pack and wrap. Actually, it'll be mostly hubby who does that stuff since I'm still feeling so crappy. Poor guy.

Bonus is that I've been locked up away from much of the recent stress so it's been easy for me to be a good girl! No screaming. Very little swearing, and it wasn't directed at anyone. Obviously, I failed at the cleanliness part but I'm doing everything humanly possible to remedy that today.

So, off I go! Hopefully I'll post tomorrow, if not, Merry Christmas!

Shorter days really are shorter

I feel like I've been conned all my life. I'm beginning to think that as the shortest "day" of the year approaches, days really are shorter. As in, there's no way they can be 24 hours long.

In the past three days, I have spent about 2 hours with my kids in the morning, and about 3 in the evenings. All three days combined. It's crazy. I've spent more time on the road than with my family.

I remember a post I wrote about Halloween. I thought I was busy then! Holy moly! Sometime during the holidays, I have to ask my mother how she used to do it. Was I just completely oblivious to the midnight baking frenzies, the last minute running around for obscure ingredients? And that last gift you remembered you needed to get only hours after you celebrated finally being done shopping?

This evening I got my last-minute Secret Santa gifts for work, and made some salads (ok, I made one and sent hubby to the grocery store to pick up two more from the deli section). Did a little favour for my mother and next thing I know, it's 10:30! My kitchen is a mess - actually, my whole house is a mess - but it'll have to wait.

It's just the beginning, too: tomorrow afternoon's the office party, and I hope to be home by dinner. I want to take the kids out to the dollar store so they can pick out a little gift for the godparents, who we see for breakie Saturday, before I head out to the office to finish some work before the end of the year. Then Sunday is brunch with family and old family friends.

Work Monday morning, with a two-year-old and dog in towe. I drop the dog off at the kennel on the way home, and get ready for a surprise visit to my in-laws. Monday night is Reveillon at my parents', and we leave right after gift opening on Christmas day to drive 8 or 10 hours to visit hubby's family.

Yikes!

I haven't been doing phenomenally well in my personal challenges lately, and I'd like any tips on how I can minimize Monster Tanya during what will surely be pure insanity!

Enough with the snow

I'm coming to the realization that it's pretty darn difficult to be a better person when there's about 70 cm of snow on the ground before the official start of winter. And it's even more difficult to be that person when you have to drive in that snow every day.

After noting to a friend recently that I'm really not the old fuddy-duddy he seemed to think I am... I have to confess that maybe, just maybe, I am after all. I've never been enthralled by winter, but this year, I really do have a hate on for our weather. I hate the cold. The snow. The shovelling. The delays. Getting the kids in their suits.

But most of all I hate the person that the weather has made me - and how it has transformed others. It is absolutely incredible to spend 4 hours a day on the roads in this weather, and look at my fellow drivers. Man, with all the swearing, posturing and rudeness, I'm amazed our society survives. Last night when I got home, a fender bender a few houses down got so out of control I had to call the cops when the hit-ee tried to get the hit-er out of his car, and both proceeded to take a few swings at each other - with half the neighbourhood kids watching. Merry Christmas, guys!

Slowly but surely I'm getting back on track with my challenges. My main priority has been the yelling thing, and I've been doing ok at that the last couple of days. The kids have been sick one after the other - including my three year old who was up all night puking her guts out - so I give myself extra points for being somewhat successful despite the serious lack of sleep.

So, one challenge down, many more to go as far as the updates - but for now, I'm signing off to watch Ed's Up and I'll finish my update tomorrow.

I'm back again!

Ok, this time I promise I'm really back to blogging every day or so.

I've had a pretty hectic last week. My three year old had her ear tube surgery. Then I spent the rest of the week looking after her, and running holiday errands - until my youngest daughter also got sick, that is!

I feel like my brain is slowly but surely reconnecting with the rest of my body again.

I'll have lots of thinking to do over the next few days. I fell back to my old ways on a few challenges, the main one being yelling. Boy, oh boy, I had a few moments from hell on that front in the past week.

I also need to think about my kids and their activities. My three year old especially. She had "show the parents" class at gymnastics this weekend... and I was so upset and embarassed and angry and.... well, I was so busy being those things I found it really hard to be proud of her, even though the few times she did what she was supposed to, she was really great. But then she'd wander off and no instructors would fetch her. She'd jump the cue so she could skip the floor exercises but do trampoline twice. She'd wanter into the trampoline areas when it wasn't her group's turn and no one would catch her... I didn't know who to be more frustrated with: her, for not listening, or the instructors for not providing more structure and discipline to the course.

I'm torn as to what we'll do after the holidays - continue gym, but at a new club, or give up altogether. I'm hesitant to have her give up if she has the talent for it, and I hope that if we do take a break, she'll be ok to pick it up again in a few months or a year. And because of everything that happened Saturday, her getting her very first certificate kind of got buried in the fact that hubby and I were so dismayed by how disobedient she was in the class.

On the bright side, my two year old also had show the parents class at dance, and she was incredible. She followed through and did the whole class on her own (even though it's technically mom and tots) and convinced me she's really doing the right activity.

Anyway, all that is behind us. The kids are back at daycare and, after the snowfall from hell yesterday we're back to normal by this evening. Apologies to everyone, and I'll be back with a better, challenge-specific update tomorrow!

I'm back!

Boy, did it ever feel good to take the weekend off! Apologies to any regular readers, but the truth is, I really needed it. And if my entry Friday was any indication, I don't think I could have formulated too much that was coherent and/or interesting over the last two days.

Funny that I feel so re-grouped this morning, despite the fact my weekend was anything but restful. After both kids being sick Friday, they seemed fine (though my three-year-old had a cold) Saturday morning. They did their classes, and were so well behaved until it was time to pick up hubby at his office.

My three year old developed a fever, was cranky, and forced us to throw our dinner plans out the window. And just when we finally got her medicated and in bed, she decided she was hungry after all... and thus went the rest of our weekend. After several wake-ups during Saturday night, she woke up with a fever of 40.2 C yesterday morning (that's 104.3 for American readers!) and an earache, so I whisked her to the clinic, where her doc decided that given her history and upcoming surgery, she'd prescribe antibiotics even though she didn't yet have a full-blown ear infection. We both hoped that starting meds early would mean she'd be better in time for surgery.

After the weekend from hell, it looks like she'll be fine by Wednesday.

Probably that's why I finally feel better today. A lot of the stress that has been eating at me over the last week seems to have resolved itself little by little since Friday. And the last few things that are up in the air ought to come down by Christmas. Plus, the fact that this is just a two-day work week for me makes it all that much more bearable!

I'm back tomorrow with my regular challenges - and some pictures of my knitting accomplishments (I'm sure no one else cares, but I'm really proud of myself!)

Maybe it's a sign...

I'm hoping my little run of bad luck is slowing down.

Hubby, who was home today with two sick kids today, called me to tell me he'd found my iPod and a knitting needle I'd lost over the last couple of days. I wish he'd waited 'til I was home to tell me about the iPod. He would have been richly rewarded. How awesome is he, really? He gets me the thing as a great little surprise gift, then finds it for me when I lose it.

Now the only two missing items still on the roster are a ball of red yarn, and that cheque.

I'm so relieved it's Friday. I need two days off, though since hubby didn't go to work today, he'll spend tomorrow at the office to catch up on work. I'm praying the kids will be well-behaved and that we'll all make it through the Saturday morning classes routine unscathed.

At some point in the next couple days, I'm going to word my next challenge. It'll have to do with stopping myself from running on empty. I think I hit rock bottom this morning when I was running late, both kids got sick, and hubby and I had to negotiate who, between the two of us and our busy day ahead, had the least important schedule and would stay home. In the end, I won, but only because his work could be put off until tomorrow. Add to this stress the fact I'd lost something else yet again (the above-mentioned knitting material) and the fact I'm so exhausted, and I just collapsed into a ball in my hallway, crying.

Needless to say, my brain is not fully functionning at this point. When I've had time to clear my thoughts, I'll be better able to figure out what it is I need to learn and do out of this week's series of mishaps.

Happy Friday, and I hope you all have more exciting plans than me! Mine include a hot bath, a good book and perhaps some more knitting. I know. I live life on the edge. I'm just not always sure the edge of what.

Little accomplishment

Today has been a little bit insane. On the bright side, kiddo's pre-op appointment went well. Her heart murmur is indeed benign, she's coming down with a chest cold that will hopefully be done by next Wednesday's surgery, and she likes to show male doctors her chest. Seriously.

The kicker was that the anesthesiologist said that red heads need more anesthesia meds to get them under. Something about added nerve endings. I vaguely remember reading something to this effect a few years ago in the Ottawa Citizen, but I couldn't track it down again this evening.

My bad luck with stuff around the house continued this week. After losing a cheque and breaking a toaster (just one, not two mind you!) I now realized I lost my iPod shuffle. I know I had it a week or so ago at my parents, but don't remember it since then. I've scoured the car and my house. And their place is far too neat for it to be misplaced anywhere - even a little thing like a shuffle. Hubby had bought it for me just because last year, wonderful little inscription and all. I feel like poop now. Not to mention I really miss my MP3 in the car.

No challenges tonight. A lot of little things brewing here this week. I'll update you all when I know more myself. In the meantime, apologies for a few really lame entries. I feel like I have relatively little free brain power to entertain the masses.

(Hopefully it's not the knitting sucking my brain dry, because to be honest, I'm quite enjoying this new hobby! My scarf is coming along, but admittedly is really boring. So yesterday I decided I'd knit socks for the girls. I'm about 1/4 of the way into my first sock!!!! Definitely more challenging, but do-able. I can't wait to see the end product!)

Maybe I'm just a big softie

Something happened today that makes me wonder if I'm really too naïve and soft when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

As I noted in this previous post, I hate conflict, and generally do what I can to avoid it. It's not that I'm a wet noodle - not at all in fact. It's just that I think that in every situation, tact and diplomacy will get the point across better, more effectively and more efficiently. With very few exceptions, I just don't think I'm capable of being verbally aggressive, and I feel so completely uncomfortable when those around me are.

I gave myself the challenge to better deal with conflict. I'm still not 100% sure how I'm going to do that, but I do want to stop shirking away from it. If I am really as convinced as I say I am that tact and diplomacy (and honestly) can win every time, then maybe I should just take my own advice.

I kind of did today, and it did turn out pretty well. (OK: I could have voiced my real view much stronger, but still, it's a start, right?!?!) Maybe it's not so much the confrontation I hate, but the aggression. So maybe regardless of how an opponent is acting, I just have to stay true to myself and address the conflict at hand with how I think it should be handled.

Gosh. Could this blog entry be any more vague? Apologies to anyone reading.

On a more hands-on note. I haven't written about this yet, but my three-year-old is scheduled for surgery next week. She's to have permanent ear tubes placed to drain her ears, two years after she had her first set or regular tubes in. She's really looking forward to living pain free and with (we hope) proper hearing. So are we, as her hearing loss and constant pain have had a huge effect on her behaviour. We saw the effect the temporary tubes had on her before, and I really look forward to seeing my little girl healthy again.

Tomorrow we go to the hospital for some pre-op tests. Kiddo also has a heart murmur, so we have to meet with a couple specialists before the surgery to make sure we have any loose ends tied up.

Wish us luck!

It's cold, and I'm losing my cool

Winter + mornings + a doddling three year old + the commute from hell = one fed up mommy.

As I recently commented on a friend's blog, I'm fully aware that most people think that winter-haters like me should just get the hell out of dodge and move to a warmer climate. And truth is, I would in a second if hubby and I could have good jobs, and our family could enjoy the same quality of life we do now.

Actually, maybe now that I put it that way, maybe a little winter is worth it in the end.

One thing I really can't stand these days about winter - above the cold, even - is how long it takes to get two little kids dressed. It takes me about 30 minutes to get the kids dressed, out the door and buckled in their car seats. On a good day. And the constant snowfalls mean my 1 hour commute in the morning is taking closer to two. So by the time I get to the office, I've been up for almost 4 hours and I'm exhausted. My "I'm not worried, I'll get the kids to daycare and myself to work whenever I can" routine is getting more and more difficult to carry on with.

Starting next week, hubby will be working slightly different hours, and he'll be around to help me get the kids ready in the morning, I can't wait.

I hate that by 9:30, I'm stressed, tired, some days I've already yelled at the kids... Somehow, it doesn't seem worth it. You would think that in this day and age of environmental concerns, transit problems and open-mindedness when it comes to HR issues, more employers would encourage working from home. My boss is relatively flexible... but it's still expected I go in every day short of extreme weather or the odd day where the kids are sick. Yet I could probably do about 60-80% of my work at home - 3 or 4 days a week.

On those 3-4 days a week, I could start working at my computer a full hour or two earlier than I do now. And I could work until at least the same time, since I'm only about 5 minutes away from the daycare. And really, I could be getting dinner started while I wrapped things up... So, all in all, I could theoretically be a more productive employee.

Imagine if one third of employers did that. You could cut down on traffic by about one-fifth, total. That could shave a good 20-30 minutes off my drive the days I would go in. And anyway, I'd be happier to spend two hours in the car in the morning if I only did it a couple times a week.

Oh, it's a pipe dream. But a nice one!

Snow day!

Today is my first honest to goodness snow day in recent memory.

Everything is closed around here: schools, daycares, school buses... flights are canceled at the airport, and the MOT is telling people to stay off the roads if they can. When all's said and done, we'll get about 40-50 cm of snow! It's mighty pretty, and since I'm not driving to work today, I'm actually enjoying myself.

I made good on my challenge to bring the kids outside. My three-year-old LOVES the outdoors. We were out for an hour or so (while I managed to shovel about one fifth of the laneway!) and she wasn't ready to come in.

My two-year-old, in the meantime, is the outdoors child from hell. She is such a princess. She refuses to walk outdoors (the kids and hubby walk 1km home from daycare every day, and if they're not in a sled, he has to carry her). She refuses to hike. And apparently, she doesn't like to play in the snow. She was basically ok for the first few minutes, if you call sitting around in a snowbank whining ok. Then she started crying because there was snow on her scarf. And on her coat. And because she fell out of the sled. And... you get the point. After an hour, we all came in. What she doesn't realize is that we have to go back out later so I can finish the laneway and eventually get the car in the street.


Oh well. Kiddo better get used to it. I hear we're in for another wallop on Friday. It's going to be one hell of a winter.

Wow. I was right.

I had to log in a second time today because this was too good to wait until tomorrow.

Before you read this, you have to read my previous post from earlier today though.

When the whole toaster thing happened earlier, I asked hubby if he thought perhaps the problem was the breaker, since most toasters don't click down if they're not plugged in. He told me no, and to prove his point, he plugged something in the other kitchen outlet. When I asked whether he was sure all kitchen outlets were on the same breaker I got an exasperated response I can't repeat unless I put money in my jar.

Well, tonight, I let him take the newest toaster out of the box, and he tried it out. And wouldn't you know, he couldn't put his bagel down. So I started laughing... and laughing. He went down to the basement, and sure enough - it was a breaker that flipped this morning. We wrecked a perfectly good toaster because of a flipped breaker.

Or rather... he did.

And you know what? He actually came upstairs and - ruefully, mind you - said (and I quote): "You were right."

In three years of marriage and eight years together, I don't think I'd heard that yet. Man, that was well worth the $20 for this latest toaster!

I'm a morning disaster

To say I'm not a morning person is a gross understatement. As a teenager and university student, I happily slept entire mornings away - when I wasn't waitressing the breakfast shift, that is. Hubby is the ultimate morning person. As a teenager, he wilfully woke up around 5 am. On weekends.

As luck would have it, my kids got their sleep cycles from their dad. It's nice in the evening when they hit the sack by 7, especially in winter. But it means they're up somewhere around 5 am the next day. It drives me loony.

Many weekends, hubby lets me sleep in at least a little, until 6:30 or even, like yesterday, 7:15. I know. I'm living the good life.

The thing is, he does it for the survival of our whole family. Before my first cup of coffee (or even after, if I was up before 6 or so), I'm a real monster. I can't help it. There's this part of my brain that knows I'm being some weird maniac - but it's like I'm watching the rest of me be that maniac and I can't do anything to stop her. Hubby and the kids have all suffered the wrath of coffee-less mommy.

This morning, we both slept in until 6:30ish while the kids watched Toy Story in our room. When the film ended, I thought I'd do breakfast with the kids while hubby slept in. So I get started - boiled some water for my bodum. Toasted a raisin bread for the two-year-old. Then a bagel for the three-year-old. Then fed the dog. Then the cat. Poured water in my bodum. Went to toast a second slice of raisin for my two-year-old. And the toaster wouldn't stay down.

(Now, I need to break here and say this toaster was exactly 36 hours old at this point. Because you see earlier this week, I used the flat top stove as extra counter space for the toaster, while I also boiled water using my stove-top kettle. I fried the toaster electrical cord, nearly stating a kitchen fire. As you may have guessed, this was all before 6am, and before my first cup of coffee. Yet another day I should have stayed in bed).

I looked through the Canadian Tire bag for the receipt - and found a big hole in the bag, and only one of the Canadian Tire bills I'd received for my purchase remaining in the bag. I'm assuming the receipt ended up somewhere between the mall door and my car, and is now buried deep somewhere in a snowbank. Hubby tried to MacGyver the new cord onto the old toaster, but gave up. We're now the proud owners of our third toaster in about 5 days. On the bright side, the new toaster is black, so it matches with all our other kitchen appliances.

And of course, while this toaster ordeal was happening, I lost it. The kids were whining (and eventually, screaming) for more breakfast. I was really, really peeved that 1) the toaster was broken; and 2) I didn't have the receipt. I broke many challenges this morning, let's just put it that way. And the Snowsuit Fund made it rich, too.

So on to the next challenge:

11. Be a little more human in the morning.

Yikes. How much do you want to bet this will be my toughest yet?!?!