A hundred miles an hour...

That would be how fast my head was spinning today.

I had that conference call for my new job. I flubbed on one recommendation. But I think I did ok otherwise. I've been pretty impressed by my future coworkers. But I'm more nervous than ever. The learning curve facing me is absolutely overwhelming, the subject matter is only slightly more familiar than a foreign language... plus, I think I will be majorly accountable to many people - which just increases the stress!

Anyway, all that being said, I'm trying to stay positive. My new coworkers seem very nice, very family oriented, and I'm sure, will be very realistic when it comes to their expectations for me.

Today was also a very difficult day, emotionally. Over the last five years, I've had the opportunity to work with incredible people, across the country. Whether I like it or not, I have favourites. And I've been saying goodbye to them one at a time over the last week. One of those has - unknowingly to him I think - become a bit of a mentor to me. I've learned so much from him, and the friendship and advice he provided me helped me through many tough times. When I got discouraged, a call or an e-mail from him was often enough to cheer me up. And when life got crazy, his calmness was always a great example I tried to follow. And of all the shitty luck, he's on holidays until after I leave. He promised he'd try to reach me before I leave so we could chat - and he did, today, at a moment when I stepped away from my phone.

I doubt I'll have a chance to chat with him any time soon. I can only hope that I manage to keep in touch - with him and the many others who have really had an impact on my life these past years.

This whole situation has made me wonder how little we know about the impact we have in people's lives. I bet many of the people that are making my departure so difficult probably have no clue the impact they have had on mine: their long-distance friendship, their professional advice, the way they have inspired me through their commitment to the cause; and especially, the way that many of them have helped me - often unwittingly - through those times when I felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of work, the constant uphill battles, and the few successes. Though few, if any, of them are ever apt to read this, I still want to say, "thank you." Without them, I wouldn't have made it five years at this job - and the years I would have spent here wouldn't have been nearly as smooth.

Moving forward, I think I need to think about thanking people in my life a little more. And I need to stop being so shy about keeping in touch with those people I want to. Now, there's a challenge - and one I really hadn't expected.